Here is Kavela's narrative about a detective named Henry. Enjoy
Once there was a detective named Henry. He had just got back from a mission. He brought his assistant named Fred. Fred has red hair and is Roman. Henry is eleven like Fred, and has brown hair and a short brown cloak.
He and Fred sat down tired, drinking a cup of tea in his living room. Outside the wind howled like ghosts and rain shattered on the window. Lightning flashed across the house.
Wishing they weren’t going to die, Fred and Henry were very frightened. “Oh dear, what a horrible night,” Fred said in fear. “Nonsense,” Henry said. “I will go outside and show you we are safe.” So he walked out the door into the stormy night.
The wind blew him into a bush of sharp thorns. The rain hitting his head felt like rocks and lightning hit his foot. “Yeaow” Henry yelled in a little pain. Fred ran outside and helped Henry inside with a blanket. “You should have listened to me Henry,” said Fred. “Yeah I think so,” said Henry. He got up and wiped himself clean of the thorns.
Just then the power ran out. It was pitch black and all they heard was the shattering rain and howling wind. “Not another problem,” said Fred who was scared of the dark. “We need to find the power switch outside to turn the power back on,” Henry said.
So off they went climbing the walls outside to turn on the power. They climbed the wall using all their strength. Rain shattered across them and wind pushed them left and right and every other way you could think of.
Henry got a glimpse of the roof top. He reached out with his hand and got a feel of the roof. He pulled himself up on the misty roof. He walked with long steps and he saw the power switch. With more of his strength he got the ON button and pushed it in.
Just then the power went back on and the rain turned into sunlight, the clouds turned into blue sky and they never had a rainy day again or did they?
By Kavela, 18.08.10
Dear Kavela,
ReplyDeleteThat is a great narrative. I really liked reading it because it was interesting and funny.
From Ernie.
Wow Kavela , that is an awesome narrative. That was really interesting . I loved it because you used adjectives. Keep up the good work, Madeline.
ReplyDeleteKavela, Your narrative made me so proud since I get to see how much progress you have made since being in my class last year. Your writing now has a personal voice and your characters have a quirkiness that you put into all aspects of your work. Your narrative sounds like you. You have given it a personal voice. I am so very proud of your progress. Keep it up
ReplyDeleteAndrea
Kavela,
ReplyDeleteI love this sentence in your writing: "Outside the wind howled like ghosts and rain shattered on the window." What an amazing of the weather. You are a talented writer!
Ruth